


PSL

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bickering, Domestic, Fluff, Lube, M/M, Sex Shop, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 02:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16484426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Phil drags Dan to a sex shop in a foreign country on the hunt for something specific. Dan isn't impressed.





	PSL

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the prompt I got from an anon on tumblr that just said: _"PSL (Pumpkin Spice Lube)"_
> 
> I gotta say I got a chuckle out of how short & sweet the prompt was. Sorry this is _probably_ not what you had in mind but I hope you like it! I really had a lot of fun with this so thank you for the prompt!

“PSL?” Dan glanced around the sparsely populated sex shop they were in. It was risky even out of the country where they’ve only been approached once, and it was before they left the airport. Not that they were stopped all of the time but it was nice to worry a little less. It was meant to be a relaxing vacation for the two of them and twelve hours in so far Dan couldn’t think of a single complaint.

Phil had seen the shop earlier in the day and begged Dan to venture inside with him once the sun went down and their chances of being seen diminished substantially. 

Still. It felt wrong to be stood in the middle of a sex shop in a city Dan had a hard time pronouncing. 

“Yeah. This is what I wanted. I read about it the other day. Let’s go.” Phil walked towards the sign and grabbed a bottle full of artificially orange colored liquid. 

“Wait what is it, Mr. Mysterious?” Dan laughed and caught Phil’s arm. Phil turned around and gave Dan the look that never meant anything good. It usually followed with an item that he broke on accident or an empty box of cereal. 

“What?” Dan asked, humor quickly leaving. If Phil was pulling  _ that  _ look there was a disagreement waiting in the wings. “What is it?” he asked again.

Phil muttered quietly, his cheeks a burning pink color. 

“Can’t hear you there, Philly. Wanna speak up?” Dan asked dryly.

“It’s PSL. Pumpkin Spiced Lube.” He held the bottle out for Dan to read and sure enough.

“ _ Phil _ ! We agreed no more  _ flavors _ !” Dan exclaimed. 

Phil stuck out his bottom lip and properly pouted. “I know I just want to try it. I think it’d smell so good.” He paused. “It’d probably taste good too.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively and Dan fought the urge to smack him.

“It’s not even seasonally appropriate now it’s well into November!” Dan narrowed his eyes. “I can’t believe you dragged me in here for this. I’m kink shaming.” 

Phil sighed exasperatedly. “You’re not allowed to kink shame in a sex shop, Dan. Besides what did  _ you  _ think we were going to get in here?”

It was Dan’s turn to flush scarlet. He was  _ not  _ going to give Phil the ammunation for that one. He grabbed the lube out of Phil’s hand and hurried back towards the display. It would have taken a lot of convincing it it  _ was  _ in the right season. He wasn’t a big fan on flavored lube. It wasn’t news to Phil.

“No we’re not putting that back!” Phil grabbed it from Dan’s hands and attempted to yank it away but Dan had too tight of a grip on it. 

There’s only so much pressure a plastic bottle can take from two pairs of oversized hands clutching at it. For this particular, tiny bottle, it was a little less than it endured by the two of them.

The lid popped off of the top and made the loudest noise something that small had ever made as it bounced across the linoleum floor. Cool, oily lubricant spilled over the top, coating both of their hands. 

Dan let go in disgust causing Phil to inevitably drop it himself, effectively pouring it down the front of Dan’s shirt and all down the side of his jeans. 

A pungent perfumey odor filled the store, so strong it burned Dan’s nose. He was right- he hated it.

A small, round, and clearly furious store owner rounded the corner and really let them have it in a familiar sounding language that Dan unfortunately couldn’t pick a single word out of.

“We’re so sorry! Sorry!” Phil hurried to pull out his wallet. “We’ll pay! I’m sorry!” 

She continued to berate them the whole time she rang them out and shooed them off of the property. 

 

They stood in silence in the frosty autumn night in an unfamiliar city. Dan was shivered as the wind blew through his clothes, chilling the wet lubricant that he was covered in. Phil looked at him warily, the crushed, half emptied bottle still clutched in his hand. It was a sight to see. It dawned on Dan how ridiculous this all really was.

Dan doubled over, suddenly near tears in laughter. The street was silent save for his uncontrollable cackle.  His stomach ached as he tried to catch his breath, the whiff of artificial pumpkin he got as he bent over just added to the humor. He tried to stand straight to check in on his poor mortified boyfriend, who really brought this on himself. Once glance over at Phil whose head was thrown back in silent laughter sent him reeling over the edge all over again.

After what felt like an eternity Dan finally got a grip on himself enough to even out his breathing and return to reality. Phil was smiling over at him with tear tracks down his cheeks.

A wave of fondness washed over Dan. 

“You’re drawing me a bath when we get back.” He declared but failed to wipe the smile that was pulled ear to ear on his face. His face ached from laughing and he felt like he did an intense workout for his core with the way his abs twinged. 

“Only if I can join.” Phil said. He looked at Dan and got that look on his face for the second time that night. “Should we look for Pumpkin Spice Bubble bath?”

Dan groaned and shoved at Phil’s shoulder before lacing Phil’s lube covered hand in his own.

They were such idiots. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!!  
> Reblog on tumblr if you'd like to [Here](https://tortitabby.tumblr.com/post/179645878230/psl)  
> Come send me more prompts or just chat with me on tumblr!  
>   
> tortitabby.tumblr.com


End file.
